MEIQI ROCKS! :D

2012-01-30T20:32:00.003+08:00

pity
sympathy
empathy

one has got so much more to learn

anybody vs somebody

i have no idea how many times i've said nevermind to myself

'i'll still talk to you soon'
one of the sweetest, comforting and reassuring messages i've missed receiving

what do you live for?
does finding out the reason willing to die for makes the question easier?
hmmmmmmm.

its getting dark

2012-01-25T22:47:00.002+08:00

just saw something really funny
one thing we did when we were young:
drawing the sun at the corner of the paper
HAHAHAHAAHA
so cute =D

man i hate last-minutes
zz

turning around

2012-01-22T22:52:00.002+08:00

if friendship is your weakest point
then you're the strongest person in the world
hmmmmmmmm
interesting

is it really happening in the world that led people to come up with such quotes?
or is it because of quotes like these that led to the happenings of the world today?

too bad we're all grown up

2012-01-22T00:19:00.002+08:00

its like a recollection
pretty fun!

days of
bully
pettiness
cries
stubbornness
squabbles
nonsense
and the list is - i dare say - neverending

those laughters were so familiar
its a lie to say i don't hear them often
coz i do, of often enough (i think)
yet i yearn for more

its so geniune and natural
i find it so hard to describe
with the two new additions
things are just getting better =D

okay mental note people.....
LOL = Lots of Love

we can't solve problems using the same kind of thinking we used to create them

2012-01-21T11:12:00.003+08:00

food for thought
personality vs attitude

some think they are the same
if its the same, then there's no point giving it two names right....

my personality is who i am
my attitude depends on who you are
TEEHEE

sometimes thinking too much equals not thinking at all

just saying

2012-01-18T21:52:00.002+08:00

pondered quite hard about this:
why do people put on masks?

used to think its stupid
coz firstly, its tiring to put on different masks in front of different people
be it to cover up certain 'flaws' - like weaknesses
or to simply give a different impression - acting differently
to me, it was pointless

why can't one be oneself in all situations?
less tiring, no lies and whatsoever

after reading them again,
it struck the mind (my mind)
that there's no need of it
there's no need of anyone to show everyone everything all the time

*smiles*
come to think of it
everyone possess so many masks
how foolish of me to think im not guilty

reasons
hide their fears
pretend to be strong
pretend to be pitiful
protect themselves
and the list goes on.....
at least, my list goes on
so what's your reason? =D

smiled alot today

2012-01-17T22:25:00.002+08:00

today was one of the bestest days ever!

felt sincerity in every move
felt love in every word
felt blessed in every touch
all so familiar; too familiar

honestly, cooked vegetables never tasted so good =D
from the heart

lecturer mentioned counting blessings
i still think these blessings should be felt and only felt
oh well maybe i take them too literally =.=

on a lighter note
that feeling of content
when you know people around you are worth keeping
knowing that i'll hardly be lonely - coz they'll come
it dawns on me that being alone isn't that bad after all

sometimes it feels like i can't understand anymore

2012-01-16T23:18:00.002+08:00

do continue updating that page
its pleasant to see the long messages
and relieving

reminds me a lil
that conversation on long and shallow vs short and deep =D

i've always thought deleting smses is a chore
much less rereading them (yknow how lag my phone is)
suprised with oneself
nevertheless, it made me smile - for quite awhile

wow. never typed anything like this before
AMAZING

sigh, i want that picture so badly

there's nothing wrong with you
just alot of wrong in the world you live in

2012-01-14T00:09:00.002+08:00

what made the impact for today.
something easily forgotten by many.
the secret to talking: listening

surprise surprise

2012-01-12T23:01:00.002+08:00

that awkward moment when someone calls you
_ a _ _ a
and when you glimpse at your phone
the spelling looks familiar

come through

2012-01-10T23:10:00.002+08:00

Some interesting things I've gathered.
HAHAHA.

Oxymorons:
Original copy
Deafening silence
Definite maybe
Old news
Open secret
Larger half
Alone together
Found missing
Act naturally

Super cool. =D
I love original copy best!
Coz its very much taken for granted.
Oh well.

All this while

2012-01-06T23:16:00.002+08:00

Probably one of the happiest days.
It came when least expected.
Never felt so relieved and blessed for awhile.

Someone told me something today.
Something that melted my heart.
Made my day.
And led my mind to a path of peace.

After all of it,
I'm still thankful.
Those words were harsh.
Now I know its a result of care.

Bitterness dissolved

2012-01-05T23:59:00.003+08:00

I trust you.
Its the rarest line ever.
In my case I mean.

Though you can't disagree that a sincere person is hard to find.
Nowadays.

You may not trust the person you love.
But you can always love the person you trust.

Trust issues

2012-01-04T21:56:00.004+08:00

Releasing one's emotional past.
One of the easiest things to say.
And one of the hardest to accomplish.

On the to-do list of one whom is taking this path.
Push aside that pride towards yourself.
Admit the pain.
Only when you admit the pain will there be room for healing.
Then shut the voices of blame, criticism and doubt.

One important thing is to prevent the festering of that cancer.

Touch and go

2012-01-03T23:06:00.002+08:00

When there is something to do with the heart,
its tough to control.
When there is something to do with the mind,
its not easy to remain objective.
When there is something to do with the person,
its hard to change.

Seem to be facing all three simultaneously.
Crazy. Insane.
How is a crucial question.
But more importantly, its the who that matters.

Selective hearing.
Selective treatment.
Selective attention.

Feeling like a spoiler. .
Its as if there's no principles within.
Selfish might be the ugliest word to use.
But I can't think of any other word more specific.
I pray for this to pass as quickly as possible.

Saying I can't help it is just an excuse.
Hearing I understand you will not console.
That disgusting thought that's clouded with empty spaces freaks me out.
Some things buried deep within as they have potential to cut.
Cut deep as well.
Its a better choice to leave it in there and let it cut from inside.
It probably sounds psychotic and depressing.

I can't believe there's so many issues I've addressed thus far.
Sigh.

Both sides are indispensable

2011-12-31T22:28:00.002+08:00

Big success! =D
Great to hear you've enjoyed your day.

Looking forward to the rest of the years ahead.
I know it'll be even more amazing.

Next up is the new year.
Thank you 2011,
for the lessons you've taught.
Dear 2012,
bring it on!

2011-12-25T02:20:00.002+08:00

Random.
I saw this post on Facebook.

Someone wrote:
Friends only appear when there are benefits.
Does it happen to you?

I pity him.
And I pity the others who liked his post even more.

Shattered dreams

2011-12-20T11:33:00.002+08:00

Its not always the past we'll miss
Its the change we fear
Yet so inevitable

And when the world seems to try so hard not to be superficial
It fails

2011-12-17T21:47:00.004+08:00

Its hard to forget someone who gave you so much to remember.
Once again,
thinking of them.
I have my doubts.

The shifts in beliefs gives confidence.
And only the shifts in beliefs will.
Only natural to be curious.
Only normal to want to be assured and reassured.

In this chaotic world, everything is temporary.
Just as life. =)
So don't get carried away yea.
Won't be pleasing if.... And only if.

Joy apart from happiness.
Enlightening.

While looking back in life,
what's the first thing that comes to your mind?
Is it something happy? Or sad?
Maybe its something or maybe its someone.
That one thing is what plays the most important role in making you who you are now.

Think back again.
Of all the events and incidences.
Whatever it is,
forget the hurt and remember the happiness you felt.
Learn what they have taught you.
If you can't figure out the lesson it has taught,
Its a sign you're not living, only existing.
You might be committing a mistake by committing the same mistakes of the past.
Which is categorized as ignorance.

Judge nothing

2011-12-14T22:39:00.000+08:00

the desire to conceal these thoughts

2011-12-05T21:02:00.002+08:00

Sometimes a brick or two falls off
maybe due to rain
or toxic gas
all the evil stuff

Then you think in a minus way when it needs a plus the most
so what do you do with those fallen bricks?
That's when life tells you
you need cement

Don't let it fall

2011-12-03T23:26:00.004+08:00

Wow. Read something.... Really meaningful
If we're all seeking happiness, what's happiness?
Are you even able to name the components?

And you realise school didn't really teach us much on this.

Some people feel happiness is a luxury.
Some feel one of the component is good friends.
Then again, you'll have to define good friends.

Others feel happiness has a simple meaning.
Maybe eating an ice cream?
Hmmm.

The world is abundant but the idea of scarcity kills it

2011-12-02T22:43:00.002+08:00

I don't aim to beat others
I aim to do well
If so,
Somehow or other
You'll beat others =)

I still don't believe muscle cramps happen due to the lack of salt.
Though I get that as an answer often.
Getting it every other night is bad enough.
During cycling?!?! Wth.
Hate getting them.

Ps
I think the wall idea is so awesome. =D
Able to lean on it whenever I need to.
Just knowing that its there is comforting enough.
Best gift ever.

Bits of unchanged thoughts

2011-11-26T16:55:00.002+08:00

Having a paper on a Saturday is bad enough
Woke up at 4 in the morning to study
Coz of the phobia of forgetting
HAHAHA
First time travelling to school without listening to music
(for fear of lyrics replacing my information)
Lame but whatever

Oh yea
And did I mention
I forgot my pencil case for my management paper
Sho clever worhzx zzzzz
YEA I swear I wanted to slap myself

My friend told me to pray for her
I said I'll pray for her
To all the gods
Hahaha (even monkey god)
I'm awesome

Don't look back and grieve the past
Its gone.

2011-11-24T15:46:00.004+08:00

Chocolate,
Alcohol,
Cigarette.
All are forms of depressants.

There's a crack in everything.

That's how the light get in.

2011-11-19T22:40:00.002+08:00

The dream does never trouble itself
about things which are not deserving of our concern during the day,
and trivialities which do not trouble us during the day
have no power to pursue us whilst asleep.

A dream about dreaming just confuses you.
Hahaha.

Just like any other muscle in your body,
When it gets torn,
It heals and becomes stronger.
Your heart is no exception.

Hold it together even when others understand why you let it fall apart

2011-11-16T21:59:00.002+08:00

Same game
at different levels
Same hell
different devils

One train of thought is followed by its contradiction.

2011-11-16T11:51:00.002+08:00

Management is insane.
Freaking hope the bloody case study questions are kind.
Sometimes it so hard to decipher keith's annoying smile.
Hahaha.

Big actions are sometimes over rated.
Similarly, simple actions are overlooked most of the time.
Though they are the ones we should remember,
we tend to forget them.

Who says simple = small?
Its coz its simple that makes it special.
Anyone can do big actions.
Its the simple ones that shows who actually bothers.

Gentle reminders next

2011-11-11T23:06:00.002+08:00

111111
Special day in every way
Special wish
Special prayer
Special friend
=D

Smile more

2011-11-10T22:07:00.002+08:00

Hmmm.
Dreams psychology

It is not uncommon
that out of some long, complicated and intricate dream
one specially lucid part stands out
containing unmistakably the realization of a desire
but bound up with much unintelligible matter
On more frequently analyzing the seemingly more transparent dreams
it is astonishing to discover that they cover another meaning
beyond that of the realization of a wish
Tomorrow's big wish

2011-11-10T09:56:00.004+08:00

tskkkkkk
distracted by the computer again
sigh
that's why im blogging this post LOL

oh bother!
is that status deliberate?
what about the picture?
damn you damn you

gonna post something outdated....
the power of shortforms!
mum text to son:
grandpa just passed away. LOL
son text to mum:
why is it funny?
mum text to son:
its not funny David! what do you mean?
son text to mum:
mom, lol means laughing out loud!
mum's epic reply:
oh my goodness! i sent that to everyone i thought it meant Lot Of Love.
i have to call everyone back oh god.

most important thing to me today:
pen ink
(different coloured pen ink) =D

these dreams

2011-11-09T00:31:00.003+08:00

As I sat at the table
Peeling the flakes off its top layer
Touching the coolness of skin
Feeling the blood rush through body
With a slight tinge of alcohol
The words, flowing
The tears, welling
And my heart, praying

Some people popped by in our lives
Some stopped by
Others stay for awhile
There might even be some who left but still remain in the midst of our minds
But life is not all that bad
There are also those who came
And filled this space in our hearts we never knew was empty

Go with the flow my dear

2011-11-07T21:26:00.003+08:00

Friendship is unnecessary.
It has no survival value,
it provides value for survival.

Like a healed wound reopened.
Good times of the past,
Makes the present seem so sad.
The future?
Still as mysterious.

Sometimes I think to myself.
Will I dare to look into those eyes again.
Oh well.

Money doesn't bring happiness
its nature already tells us so
the more people have it
the more they need and want to be happy

2011-11-06T13:25:00.002+08:00

The best feelings ever
when your family understands you as a friend
and your friends care for you like family. =D

A philosophy teacher asked his class to write him a persuasive letter that will convince him the chair is invisible.
Most of them took an hour to write a long, persuasive essay.
One student however,
Took only 5 seconds.
And he got the highest marks for the assignment.
His letter wrote:
What chair?

So what do you take away?
Don't make something so simple too complex.

What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?

2011-11-05T23:33:00.002+08:00

Lesson learnt for today:
Tell someone your true feelings before its too late.
You never know when you'll get the chance again.

It doesn't matter how far you go in life
or how much you achieve.
When you look back,
What matters most is who stood by you through them all.

When you don't wanna tell the truth,
Can't bear to tell a lie,
Do you hide it?

2011-11-02T10:42:00.002+08:00

Reflecting as usual.
Picked up the call.
I was so willing to help.
Then again I keep questioning myself.
Didn't do it sincerely.
My reasons are so flawed.
Which I can't help but to feel that way.
Its not your fault.
Genuinely helping but for all the wrong reasons.
Maybe one day I'll show you.
Not even sure if you'll understand.
For now, its shame on me.

Take one good look and turn away

2011-10-30T19:41:00.003+08:00

who says the sky is the limits?
we're our own limits.
sigh.

what change people,
what unmasks them?

searching for quotes yet again.
got one!
most people spend money they don't earn,
buy things they don't need
to impress people they don't like.
LOL!

you see how pointless people are these days.

one skill to know:
when you can't convince them, confuse them.
hahaha!
i can't stand this quote seriously.
“The early bird gets the worm. What does the early worm get? Eaten. Punctuality is sometimes over-rated.”
- Brad Montgomery

the feeling of completing an essay =)

2011-10-30T11:40:00.002+08:00

Shoved in my face again.
Bullets of thought.
Thousands of them.
Feel so obscured by my very own eyes.

One is not enough?
I thought its easier to handle.
Then again, it may be a phobia.
Cant really figure it out.

As I ponder, I dont know any that will last.
I only know which are the ones I would do everything I can,
To make sure it does.

Tried and tried.
Cant find it.
The problem lies with me though.
I tend to compare.
Subtly but consciously.

Dreams psychology

2011-10-23T20:10:00.002+08:00

looking back on those pictures. =D

makes me smile so much
can't help but to notice the geniune smiles everyone was showing
so happy

having that back again
like a ghost
with chained feet
when no one knows

isolation, either way

2011-10-20T20:58:00.002+08:00

Sometimes actions so childish from some
Who are supposedly mature really amazes me
Like people owe you something
Hellooooooo?
As much as you would like it
You gotta prove its worth it
Not hiding behind the screen with a picture of words like a loser
Loser

Deadlines deadlines
Datelines datelines
Hahaha
I shall conquer all

Sometimes it feels like I needed to tell you
Strange feeling
Stranger feeling
When its to a supposedly mmm
Stranger

Like a bridge over troubled waters

2011-10-15T12:43:00.002+08:00

just like the good old days
one whole day of fun
never really thought we'll miss it
when we had them all laid ahead

till it was over
then what's left is looking back
with that longing smile

struggling to accept
but still thankful
still thankful

within(s), without(s)

2011-10-10T19:30:00.003+08:00

nothing like an old face to see
just with a different name
looked forward to it
treading lightly

its a promise to oneself
never to fall in that again
and its kept

sometimes it boggles my brain
deciphering the meanings and all
then again, i realised
it matters no more
taking things the superficial way seem the best
no reading between the lines
no second guessing
felt more natural and comfortable

things turned out better than expected
and yea, we'll leave it just like that
nothing more, nothing less

maybe what Aristotle said may be only half true
devotion of time doesn't mean much
so what if there's length but no depth?

almost there

2011-10-09T01:49:00.002+08:00

when things just pass your way
be weary
forgiveness is a gift to oneself
no longer that trust i can give
no longer that face i can bear to see
no longer that hand that i can touch
one chance
not for things to fall back into place like before
but for them to fall further apart
im awaiting the new things to fall into my hands
that wrong path
will never be treaded on
ever again

long time no see

2011-10-05T23:04:00.003+08:00

the thought of being thought about
does not seem very significant at first
but when recalling, i have to admit
it felt special
wondering how it feels on your side
maybe more painful
was happy nonetheless
to know you are still there
still willing

that path is wrong
gotta turn away from it
choose another path
or create a new one

we've had our problems
i can't remember one

loneliness is tragical
believe me

sometimes i speak of it so casually

2011-09-27T22:18:00.002+08:00

How tempting
Its green for once
Hahaha
Sometimes just wanna laugh coz its so strange =/
People do change, dont they
You as well
Though you were the one saying others would

So its true?
I make you know yourself more?
If thats what you mean,
I can tell you you aint progressing dude.
At all.

Thinking on whether its a mistake
Or a misunderstanding
For now, I choose mistake

Today had a deep talk on being superficial
Reading people - not judge
And trust
Two ways:
Trust everyone till proven not trustworthy
Dont trust till one proves trustworthy
Mentioned, argued, been there, done that.

Actions that bears consequences.
Dire consequences.
Beware and think the four corners of a square.
Dont leave out any possibilities.

Hint to oneself, dont be too strong for too long

2011-09-25T16:10:00.002+08:00

suddenly had the urge
to recall the difference between an irony and a paradox
HAHAHAHAHA
oh well
an excellent answer was given to me. =D
irony- the disparity between whats expected and whats real
paradox- the synthesis of two seemingly opposite statements which upon further thought, make sense
hehe

campcampcamp
honestly, i hate camps
HAHAHAHA
no doubt it was fun though =D
diversity in there was CRAZY
i likeeeeeeee

have a taste of tears that have been kept inside for a long time

2011-09-19T22:33:00.002+08:00

Had some pomelo tonight
It looked really pretty on the outside
After tasting it
So bland
And empty

Even the food we eat depict us man

Today, that scene disturbed me
It was familiar
Yet felt so distanced

Those words spoken were so pure
So pure, it pierced

The actions I saw were things I managed to picture
Help, touch, look

Does the holy trinity nowadays mean
Me
I
Myself?

Maybe this heart
Was really made to worry

That was just a tiny step too far

2011-09-15T23:04:00.002+08:00

been enjoying school so far. =D
people generally nice.
they would be nicer if they stop stirring shit though.
zz.

interesting shitz popping into my mind.
Cultural Relativism: Truth Is Relative

cultural relativism is the view that no culture is superior to any other culture when comparing systems of morality, law, politics, etc.
it's the philosophical notion that all cultural beliefs are equally valid and that truth itself is relative, depending on the cultural environment.

wowwwww. interesting like siaoxzxzx.
its about rejecting the whole idea of universal right and wrong.

if relativism is true and all points of view are true, then the assertion that relativism is false, is true.
is this contradictory?
yes.
is truth contradictory?
no.

relativists declare that "there are no absolute truths."
however, this is an absolute statement, which is supposed to be true.
therefore, it is an absolute truth and the statement is false.

i was lost by the time i ended up at this line.
HAHAHAHAHA! oh well.
something less demanding for the brain:
laughter- best medicine and best diguise.

praying, please be alright

2011-09-08T21:48:00.003+08:00

And I can only pray you keep your word.

Its gonna be another hell of a ride.
Can feel the tide coming already.
Focusing seem to be the hardest challenge.
Procrastination will be the worst enemy.
I just hope time will be nice to me.

Hi,
I have two siblings.
Proud to say,
One brother and one sister. =D

I didnt know such simple things will mean this much.

Metaphor.
Vehicle: rotten apple.
Your character.
Seemingly deceiving.
Vehicle: whiteboard.
Your thoughts.
Easily stained.
Vehicle: clock.
Your methods.
Deliberately done.

Lost vs loss

2011-09-03T23:24:00.002+08:00

What can I say.
The bottle of yours.
Either filled with guilt.
Or its still as empty as it was.

Hiding behind that small lil screen.
Or that slightly bigger one.

Drop it

2011-08-29T23:33:00.002+08:00

Opposite vs balance.
Is there a need?

Talking about it will not hurt anymore.
It shouldnt have in the first place.
I see how others face the same thing.
Yet they choose to hang on.
Lucky you.

Dont lose your diamonds while picking up the pebbles.
It aint worth.
Excuses that you twist to make it a reason.
Not funny.

That environment was the past two months.
Not anymore - if thats your excuse.

Facing it

2011-08-21T22:25:00.002+08:00

Shakes head
At every sight
Entertaining
Each fleeting thought

Strange
How mentioning those things
Can be so casual
Barely inserting feelings

All that is talkable
All that is common
All that is mentioned
Is the past

No longer parallels
Nor perpendicular
Barely skewed

Maybe someday.

Limited

2011-08-14T21:07:00.002+08:00

How do you expect kids to listen to their parents when :
Tarzan lives half naked,
Cinderella comes home at midnight,
Pinocchio lies all the time,
Aladdin is the king of thieves,
Batman drives at 200 mph,
Sleeping Beauty keeps sleeping,
Snow White lives with 7 guys.

WOW.
yet another theory.
sounds cool.

have to think of what i want.
tsktsk.
ever so indecisive.
kill me.

theraputic day

2011-08-12T12:44:00.002+08:00

the walk was peaceful.
the sea looked peaceful.
looking out seemed ok.
looking inside was painful.

two lessons learnt.
one makes you smile.
the other, makes you cry at at them.
i pray so hard sometimes.

for once, things are so hard to express.

that hollow game, i've won.
taking all the heat, the heart went cold.

some things you don't need until they leave you

2011-08-10T10:37:00.004+08:00

still in my head.
i think things are going to get worse.
i know myself.
and i know i cannot.
probably require months.
all happens like 3am in the morning.
pissing me off.

i can totally see myself being one heck of an annoying fly.
bugging and bugging.
making mountains out of molehills.
creating something out of nothing.
can't stand it.

in my head

2011-08-05T22:52:00.003+08:00

Question
Are you happy with your life now?

Where some deserve to ask,
Few deserve to be asked,
Even fewer deserve to be given the answer.

Mind vs heart

Day one
Status: mind

Day two
Status: mind

Day three
Status: mind

Day four
Status: heart

Day five
Status: mind

Overall status: mind

Control

2011-08-01T23:49:00.003+08:00

Trust between two people.
You showed me how hard it is to keep the trust.
You showed me why when trust is broken, its so hard to fix.
You showed me why I should not trust others so easily.
People like you.

Disagree, agree, agree.

Its definitely not hard to keep trust between two souls.
Its been years man.
I can only hope you make right choices.

There is nothing I fear
Except that one thing-distance.
Something so intangible.
Happened once.
I know it wont happen twice.
I pray for tolerance and understanding.
I know all will go well.
Holding on.

Whenever I read it, I wanna show it to the whole world.
Coz im so proud of it.
But I dont want anyone to see it.
Coz I know its only meant for me.

Closed

2011-07-24T22:51:00.003+08:00

Hi

I've thinking of you again.
Yes, lonely.
So I thought of you.
Never wanted to admit though.
Glad to know you're doing fine.
Am still smiling after everything.
Still hoping to see you soon.

Meiqi

2011-07-23T08:37:00.002+08:00

Yes I realised I can have everything.
From all that I've lost I can gain it back.
Feels so real.
Dreams does wonders.
=)
But sadly, these dreams carry no hopes with them.
Empty as it is, I will hold on to it.

2011-07-17T22:36:00.002+08:00

So many stars.
Yet all that is visible is a black sky.
Missing out on lil things.
Again.

Stained.
Interesting how it came by.
Still stained.
Mmm. Still missing.
Two meanings.
Missing and missing.

Tear.
Two meanings.
Which came to your head first?

Suck thumb...

2011-07-10T23:20:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I look at this small screen
And feel so helpless
Idk how to read feelings this way
All I hope is
You be strong
Be brave
Coz as you should know
Things wont be easy
It'll get harder
Tougher
Like a roller coaster
Just that its a slow one
Idk if you can cope
But as promised
I will sit this ride with you

Time- either your friend or your enemy

2011-07-08T10:34:00.002+08:00

People are always talking about not chasing after things that are not yours.
They seem to have left out some things.
What about pushing things away that are rightfully yours?

Has one ever thought of it?
Well, I guess not.

Pleading.
Not with words but with tears.

Well, its the time of the year again.
All I hope to get is a lil wish from you.

Nothing more

2011-07-02T12:02:00.002+08:00

saw something yesterday.
didn't know how to describe.
it was a yes.
then a no.
then a maybe. =/

self denial- a part of life.
i never wanted to.
yea.
self denial.

play with the words

2011-06-22T22:19:00.002+08:00

Nothing much to say.
Its just there for me to see.
The chapter has obviously ended.
That chapter.
Im merely flipping the pages.

One last time?
Does it really matter?
I might miss her.
But not you.

MEIMEI~
I want my book of life. =(

Go on, far.

2011-06-20T22:57:00.002+08:00

Hard on the outside
Mysterious on the inside
So unique
One of a kind
So rare
Like any other precious stones
It needs friction for awhile
Though, it will wear out a lil
After that chapter ends
It sparkles
Hard to find
Hard to lose
But hard on itself
Too hard
I will hold it dearly with both my hands
And will never let it fall

Thats my gem

When you have every reason to breakdown, dont.

2011-06-14T23:10:00.002+08:00

Some things to reflect upon.
Not being in that position for so long.
That uncertainty of that weird, strange feeling.
Thinking too much.
Way too much.
Hahaha.

Staring and stoning can be healthy too. XD
Now I do not fear.
When I look back,
Its with a smile.
At least it happened.
At least it was special.

I realise im afraid of distance.

2011-06-07T20:48:00.002+08:00

its been a long time since i had the urge to blog.
HAHAHA.
good news i guess.
can't wait for bintan trip.
hope everything goes well.

i've said everything that's in my heart.
poured out.
never felt so good.

seems like i got more than what i expected.
worth the wait.

no more sleepless night.
nor saltwater on my pillow.
no waking up in the morning with puffy eyes.
super crazy how life let you try everything.
feel every feeling.
and taste the sweet after bitter.

how awesome is that.
at least for now,
i know what i have.
and i know what i had.

only have two hands to hold my gems.
the fewer, the better.

2011-05-31T01:03:00.002+08:00

You took my hand
You showed me how
You promised me
You'd be around
Uh huh
That's right

I took your words
And I believed
In everything
You said to me
Yeah huh
That's right

If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them out
Cause they're all wrong
I know better
'Cause you said forever
And ever
Who knew

Remember when
We were such fools
And so convinced
And just too cool
Oh no,
No no.

I wish I could touch you again
I wish I could still call you a friend
I'd give anything

When someone said count your blessings now
Before they're long gone
I guess I just didn't know how
I was all wrong
They knew better
Still you said forever
And ever
Who knew

Yeah yeah
I'll keep you locked in my head
Until we meet again
Until we
Until we meet again
And I won't forget you my friend
What happened

And time makes
It harder
I wish I could remember

But I keep
Your memory
You visit me in my sleep

Who knew

2011-05-28T00:14:00.003+08:00

Getting stronger each day.
Feeling of knowing that one day,
I can give up fully on whatever I held on dearly.
So strong.

Untie those chains that bind.
Unload those weights that sink.
Unplay those songs that remind.
Undo the hurt.
Uncry these tears.
Unbreak my heart.

Experiment.
What am i?
A thesis?

Different classes of people.
Humble.
Stuck up.

Players

2011-05-24T20:38:00.002+08:00

When I think im ok,
It usually lasts a few hours.
Then I realise im not.
So frustrating.

I want to be ok.
But you're not helping.
One different feeling I never had,
That im not given a single chance.

Those hands that held,
Those hands to hold,
That shoulder to nudge,
That shoulder to lie on.
Gone for good-good riddance.
Of bad rubbish.

I wish to close this chapter.
Quickly and hopefully,
Less painful.
Yes, its self denial.

Now I know the meaning of lonliness.
So tragical.

Its time I learn THE lesson -
To be ready to give it all yet not expect anything.
Mmm.
Appreciating those who never left even more now.
More worthy the effort.

You chose him

2011-05-20T22:55:00.002+08:00

been feeling tired easily these days.
might be because of the bad sleeps i have in most nights.
stoning more often now.
hahahaha.

made that decesion,
i will stick to it.
will not waiver anymore.
will not give in anymore.
standing firm.

expecting the almost nothing,
yet hoping for something more.

it is our choices that show who we truly are,
far more than our abilities

2011-05-14T20:54:00.003+08:00

pretending its ok.
its tough.
fighting back the tears.
its the toughest.

sometimes i don't exactly know what i'm doing.
what made me do it.
and why i'll do it anyway.

from the time i questioned myself.
or maybe when you questioned me.
its suprising to finally find the answer.
and the answer is: there's no answer.
then i realised it goes way back.
way back to where everything started.
there was no reason either.

i wish at times.
other times, i half wish.

for every action, there's an explanation.
i see the action, i feel the action.
all i ask for is the explanation.

remember me this way

2011-05-08T22:13:00.002+08:00

Do you remember when....
Getting high meant sitting on a swing.
The worst things boys could do was to pull your hair.
Mummy was your hero.
And you're marrying daddy.
War was just a card game.
Only skinned knees hurt.
And only toys were broken.
Life was so carefree.
Looking back on all these,
Its crazy to believe I had always wanted to grow up.

Reliance.
Like a wall.
Comforting and thankful.

2011-05-02T07:16:00.006+08:00

we send hoping to receive.
but never getting what we wanted.
sometimes, nothing returns.

as we speak of it,
that ache idk how to describe.
the tears flow endlessly.

moving on vs not looking back
not looking back.
coz i'm still stuck at the same spot.

when i think of the times,
they were all happy times.
no, i no longer blame you.
no longer angry.
there's still love. =D

when i see things that reminds me of those times,
i turn to hide those feelings.
suppress them so hard.
that if i see you at that moment,
i'll just turn and run away.

you know how this feels.
it happened to you before.
so why?

that one night.
we cried together.
that hand was comforting.
i'm just so glad to have you by my side.
and you, letting me be by yours.

if you knew then,
what you know now,
you probably wouldn't do it.

2011-04-28T23:15:00.003+08:00

In the eyes of a child.
Innocence.
Honesty.
Peace.
Sighhhhh.

Left.
Came back.
And left again.
Wonder what im suppose to feel.

Thought it was a month.
Only to realise it was a week and a half.
Hmmm.
Does it still matter?

You know inside your heart you love the person,
You just ran out of reasons to fight for what you feel.

Space

2011-04-22T14:55:00.003+08:00

getting lost will help you find yourself.

hmmm.
by understanding the different paradox of life makes one happier.
both sides of contradiction makes sense.
eg: use your time efficiently, yet make time to play, wander and dream.
or accept yourself but expect more of yourself.
don't look at them as binary opposites and you'll enjoy life more.
one way is viewing them as a balance.
and the paradox will disappear.=D

birds of a feather flock together vs opposites attract.
seperate them and you agree that each is true.
chuck them together and you realise they're meaningless.

this world- a confusing, complex yet wonderful place.

if only turning away from people is as easy as turning this laptop on and off,
life would be much easier.
then again, it'll be quite boring.

when people's words and actions contradict,
i start wondering what happened during their thinking process.
HAHAHA!

when wealth is lost,
nothing is lost.
when health is lost,
something is lost.
when character is lost,
all is lost.

observation

2011-04-19T23:06:00.002+08:00

Hellooooo people.
Im so not proud to say that I bowled so badly on sunday.
Ahhhh.
There wasn't even a one seven zero!
Gosh.
Out of five games somemore.
Sigh.

Talk.
With saltwater in the eyes.
Wishing for so many things.
I dont have anything to give.
So few words to say.

And so its important to have that comfortable silence.
Missed the times.
When drinks was for happy times.
Not sad.
When tissue paper was used to wipe mouths,
Not eyes.
Look up when we speak.
Not down.

Let it go,
Save the trouble.
Throw it away.
Save the tears.
Leave it behind.
Your pain will dissppear.
Life is not supposed to be travelled backwards.

Numb.
Guess its true.
Anxious and over reacting.
Then it transformed into that certain numbness.
I will be ok.

Noone

2011-04-15T23:40:00.002+08:00

walked out.
i'm wasting time.
no longer tied.
i miss.
but never gave up.

stay strong.
even though you have every right to break down.

everything happens for a reason.
that, we all know.
our job is,
to find what's the damn reason.

the other side of the mirror

absence of

2011-04-14T21:41:00.004+08:00

Dont think too highly of yourself.
I will make sure I figure out your moves.
Your thoughts.
Spoil all your plans.
Make you so miserable.
And one day,
Have a piece of my mind.
That day will come,
For sure.

A relationship.
That status does not give you any permission.
At all.
To emotionally blackmail one another.
Neither do you MF one another.
This is just another one of your childish games.
And I will not allow you to set the rules.

Spots.
First lesson learnt:
Be aware of your own weak spots.
Second lesson learnt:
Blind spots are common.
Third lesson learnt:
Soft spots are dangerous to own.
Fourth lesson learnt:
Forgiveness brings happiness.
Forgive oneself for not being spotless.
Last lesson learnt:
Dont mess with meiq.

These few days have been acronym days!

SDTCSK
Sit down talk cock sing karaoke
ERP
Eat roti prata
CCP
Chap chye peng
Awesome!

Silence

2011-04-10T23:13:00.002+08:00

That fine mingling
Of holding on
And letting go.

Loss- a natural part of life.

As we all know.
Change is never easy.
We fight to hold on.
Then we fight to let go.
One advice however,
Is to stick to one.

Every tear you drop,
Fills up that bottle of dislike in me.
That I tried so hard to empty.
Its not full yet.
But filling up fast.
And I keep praying,
It will not reach the brim.

For every needle that pricks your heart,
Pricks mine too.
And i,
No, we.
Will not let this get any worse.

Accepting what happened,
Moving on.

Close

2011-04-07T23:10:00.002+08:00

Picked this up from somewhere.

'you dont understand how I feel'

How would you feel if someone said this to you?
Helpless?
Confused?
Upset?
Like whatever you've tried to do just comes to this fullstop.
What you did was all to waste.
You can do no more.
Coz you may have misunderstood right from the start.

Those six words said so easily.
Yet their echoes lingers endlessly.
For this once,
I cant tell you these two words,
I understand.
And truly mean it.

Sadly

2011-04-07T22:41:00.002+08:00

Damn it.
I'm suppose to refrain from uncouth languages.
But it seems like its coming back again.
Uhh.
On my nerves I swear.

Screw this shit.
Some people love contradiction too much.
Or they are just indecisive.
Dont play games like that.
Its similar to a war.
Both parties lose.

War not with blood but with feelings.
War not with guns but with hearts.
And now, three hearts are at stake.

Sometimes people fall off the sidewalks of life.

Came, never left

2011-04-03T22:30:00.002+08:00

slept in.
reminisced the past.
with that special friend.
got lost for awhile.
met family after so long.
pushed grandma along mac ritchie.
jump shots with cousins.
family dinner.

mmmm.
a day well spent.
gave love,
received love,
felt loved.
=D

if you don't go after what you want,
you won't get it.
if you don't ask,
the answer will always be no.
if you don't step forward,
you'll always be in the same spot.

foolish heart

2011-04-02T20:50:00.002+08:00

bowling was AWESOME! =D
its been a long time.
survived 4 games.
HAHAHAA!

i miss that feeling.
clashes of the pins.
mmm.
perfect releases.
savoured them while they last.
hahaha.
spare rates are terrible though.

seperate vs apart

growing seperately but never apart.

everything and a lil bit more

2011-03-31T22:49:00.003+08:00

Have it your way.
All have the right to know.
Hiding not going to work.

That torture.
Let her go.

Memories are the only happy things that makes you sad.

That piece of string.
Loosened.
Wearing away.
Fell to the ground.
That smash,
So silent.
So deafening to the heart.
Please pick it up.
Before it falls into pieces.

Anywhere

2011-03-27T19:46:00.003+08:00

the more sand that has escaped from the hourglass of our life, the clearer we can see through it.
pity much.

though i know i should not.
can't resist.
its just there.
that slight ache.
comes once in a while.
not as often.
but still lingers.

why.
that's not a question.
almost there.
almost let go.
almost forsaken.
just like any other,
too weak.

heart work

2011-03-26T23:44:00.002+08:00

Some things that boggles my mind.
Different people of different characters.
Three words will be enough.
One: think, aim, shoot.
Two: aim, think, shoot.
Three: aim, shoot, think.
Four: shoot, think, forgets to aim.

Those grey areas.
Are the most annoying.

Figure it

2011-03-23T22:50:00.002+08:00

Work has been really kind the past few days.
Nothing much to do, that is.
In the working world,
You see more.
people's behaviour and attitude differs each day.
But no one cares much about others.
No wonder.
No colleagues are friends.

Hatred, revenge and vengeance.
Have one thing on common.
They are the dark light that blinds those who seek it.

That look on your face.
So painful and tired.
Yet, there was a slight touch of thankfulness that I felt.
Picked up the bag,
Gave a slight smile.
And left.

Those words.
As I look again.
How much they bite back.
In my head.
In my heart.
So painful I can feel it no more.
Numbness was all that felt.
Emptiness left to fill that gap.
Its getting bigger.
Larger.

I still...

2011-03-21T22:59:00.001+08:00

I look at what I'm doing everyday,
And I'm starting to believe that any idiot can face a crisis
Its the day to day living that wears you out.
Hahaha.

Hmmm.
Life is a dream for the wise,
A game for the fool,
A comedy for the rich
And a tragedy for the poor.

So many things to ponder over.
Empty what's full.
Fill what's empty.
Is there more to life?

Is it still there?
The hope.
Or is there nothing left to salvage?

I don't know where I'm going.
But I'm on my way.

The truth is more important than the facts

2011-03-20T00:02:00.002+08:00

it felt so long.
no words no nothing.

closes eyes.
pray.
for awhile.
dream.
flash backs.
realise that.
nothing beats them.

now i'm using it on myself.
i didn't take for granted.
i knew what i had.
just that.
i never thought i'll lose it. =(

so strange.
i feel it more than before.
don't ever.
leave it behind.

who am i to judge you?

2011-03-18T22:47:00.002+08:00

feeling a lil deep lately.
wonder if its the right word. =/

the only thing holding things together is reminiscence.
no pictures though.
only words.

after all these, then you realise.
you only live life once.
and once is enough.

when one tells you things you don't want to tell yourself.
advice for you: know who are your friends and hold them with both your hands.

the weak can never forgive as forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.
what about asking for forgiveness?

top three things that tire us out:
making the right decisions,
trying our hardest,
never looking back

suddenly, its all stationary.
stationary.

when i was young, being blissful is simple.
as i grew older, being simple is blissful.

many think its about how good you are.
wrong. its about how bad you want it.

gone again

2011-03-14T21:20:00.003+08:00

Hello again.
Its been some crazy week.
I think life is getting less exciting actually.
Started off with more things to learn.
And when you get the hang of things, it becomes boring.
No wonder I never got bored in school.
HAHAHA.

Hmmm. I feel like picking up a new skill.
Though I haven't figured out what.
Or should I just focus on getting my driving license and attending bowling courses?
Sigh.
Sad to say, photography didn't really appeal to me even though i tried giving it a shot.
Zzz. Shall put this on hold first.

I miss spending time alone too.
barely any time for bowling.
Sian....

The sickening crunch when your ball hits the solid pocket and strike.
That satisfaction as you watch the pins fly.
The feeling of bowling a perfect release that is ever so theraputic.
That slight addictive smell of the alley which never failed to remind you of the chance of a perfect game.
The atmosphere and tension during the game that keep the fire in you burning.
Ahhhhhh.
Really really really need to bowl.

2011-03-06T21:35:00.002+08:00

Change.
Its scary.
If only I could read your mind.
Sometimes I wished you didn't mean them.
Didn't say them.
Or I didn't tell nor ask you.

Don't take the wrong train down a one way track.

Feelings and problems.
Will it go far(enough)?
Time will give you the answers.
You know how much you can endure.
Building up.

Those eyes betrayed.

2011-03-01T00:33:00.002+08:00

haven't felt it for a long time.
was worth it.

body ache sucks.
spammed cold water.
not much use though.
Hahaha.
I need my sleep badly.

that distance

2011-02-28T09:32:00.004+08:00

I guess people may not be as responsible as they seem.
can't think of any reason though.
or its coz history repeats itself.
for you and me.
sad to say, we're on opposite sides.

why do people hold on to memories do tightly?
its coz they're the only things that won't change when everything and everyone else does.
pity much.

long dreams

2011-02-25T23:46:00.003+08:00

nice nice.
been having quite alot of fun the past week.
back to bowling man.
on the roll again. XD
and of coz, spending time with bowlers.
which is equally awesome.

life is being really mean too.
not all happy times.
sometimes confusion creeps into my mind.
some people never fail to annoy me.
disappointment pays me a visit once in a while.

anyway, advice for the day:
if you're going through hell, keep going.

maybe, maybe not

2011-02-20T20:08:00.003+08:00

at a family dinner now.
so many toddlers around.
sigh.
I've got two feelings inside me.
one, I feel so happy when I see them sharing the jellies.
how much they are willing to give.
two, sad that I know or maybe realised how it dies with age.
rate: exponential
why?

nothing again

2011-02-16T22:40:00.002+08:00

entertaining that thought yet again.
so hard to believe.
happening more often now.

its difficult to read the mind.
assumption isn't my thing.
please don't let it be a dead end.

going to the temple to baibai tomorrow.
mmm. been long since I've done so. =)
no colours today.

care(d)

2011-02-14T14:03:00.003+08:00

hard time.

night till day.

sigh.

when everything falls on the wrong person.

wrong time.

wrong heart.

get out of that whirlpool.

act fast and smart.

nothing right or nothing left.

amend it.

i'll be praying

so hard

2011-02-13T22:55:00.002+08:00

days back in SG have been awesome so far. =D
FINALLY HAD YUSHENG ON SATURDAY!
hehehe. the spread was great too!
okay, i should stop talking about food.

their problems keep resurfacing.
so many of them.
money.
relationship.
communication.
physical.
they just keep popping out.
lesson learnt: i'm blessed.

why do people want to know EVERYTHING?
then they start judging.
'nothing' is an understatement.
not understanding = shut up.
sigh.

speaking of being deeper than you appear to be.
pulling it off.

same thing in a different costume